Can this be controlled?

At the terrace of that beautiful hotel in posh place UB City, all the colleagues were enjoying the party of successful launch of one of our products. It was only me who stood separate without socializing with everyone. To dance on the dance floor, so many people forced and pulled me, but it was of no use. I could not help my body to dance to the tunes, as physically I was there but mentally I was somewhere else. Where which place also, I don’t know.  So many questions were there my mind, is this the life, I want? Is this what enjoyment for me? Felt like sitting at corner and write something. Mobile battery charge was also not there, so opened my small diary sitting at corner place, away from everyone and started writing something.

Don’t know why this happens, if I don’t have anyone with whom I am comfortable with, I don’t speak, I don’t come out of my shell. Always feel like talking to only selected individuals with whom I am comfortable with. Don’t find the self-motivation or purpose just to talk. There are very few people in this world with whom I feel connected, I feel like talking -don’t know why. In the contrary, I have some close friends, who talks to everyone like they are made for each other and known to each other for years.

It’s the beauty of God’s creation, he has created each individual in such a unique way. Though we are all made up of same set of organs and design, we have so much uniqueness in our thinking. Though we spend so much of our time with different individuals, yet retain our own identity. We do carve for certain things and also we do try to improve upon on ourselves at every stage of our life. We follow some people, get inspired and influenced by some people, yet retaining our individuality. God’s creation is magic.

Similarly it had happened during engineering days, when all the friends went for the blockbuster movie- Rangeela. Everyone enjoyed and came back, in contrary I became very emotional by seeing some senti scenes in the movie and went home immediately to see my parents!

Instead of enjoying the expensive UB city provided facilities, getting into shell was not a planned choice. Also couldn’t push myself to enjoy either as well.

Can we be at present always? Do we know what is our inner calling? Do we know  with whom we feel connected? Do we know purpose of life? How do we be self-motivated always? Do we know whether it is right to think so or not?

I know, it is too much to think too much!!

Can this mood be controlled?